Some success...

It's been awhile, I know...  But the project lives on - even if it has taken a hammering over the past few months.  I have, however, some success to report...  My first port of call with regard to reducing the mortgage was to see if there were any tax credits due to me that have not been claimed and astonishingly I managed to recieve a whopping €9, 180!  Everyone should contact a tax consultant pronto... All of this money has been put towards paying off debt.  Unfortunately, I have not really scratched mortgage debt yet because this €9k has been put through to service credit card debt, outstanding car loan and overdraft - these being the high sinners of interest.  I have also completed a website project - which I am very happy about but cannot really launch until next month.  So, eight months gone - mortgage is still a monster but I'm not giving up - I may have to extend the year in order to bring the working projects to fruition though!

Next Report Will Be First Venture Launch...

Well, there's no more philosophy, or page holding posts I can put up here, so I'm declaring a 'ceasefire' until I'm ready to go with my first mortgage paying venture.  It may be a couple of months, or just a couple of weeks - I have three little ventures on the boil... all I can say, is that it will be before June!  So hold your breath...

When, oh When...

When, oh when is he going to get started on this project, I hear you ask.... Well, I've got two irons in the fire as we speak but I'm beginning to realise somthing:  YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN THE DELAYS WILL COME!   Yep, I thought I could just get an idea, get a web designer, negotiate a fee and away we go in a matter of days!  Not so clearcut... but what the heck, the fun is in the planning!  Won't be long now though....

Wait.

So when does the attack commence?
Wait.
How long must we wait?
Wait.
Aren't we losing valuable time... aren't we making  a big mistake?
Wait.
When they least expect, we attack.
Or something like that...

Somebody Got to the Bogman First...

Ha ha!  I may not be that crazy after all!  You will notice that one of my rejected longlist ideas is create a pet character made of bog (peat!).  My idea was to call this little fella, 'Pet Peat' and to literally cut gingerbreadman-like figures from wet bog and sell them to gullible idiots.  Well, I actually decided not to go with this idea because, well, it isn't my thing... but... lo and behold what do I see yesterday when purchasing a birthday gift for my good wife in a nice store in Galway?  You guessed it - this exact idea!  I couldn't believe that someone else had come up with the exact same ridiculous scheme!   Well, best of luck to the kindred inventor - this gives me  a bit more confidence that the daft ideas might just work!

Ten Alternative Mortgage Paying Methods.

1.  Sell anything I have a pair of:  eyes, ears, hands, feet and testicles.  Though perhaps I'll keep the last to myself.

2.  Invent a new really cool gadget that everyone wants called an ippydop.  Cost - €345.  Expensive but well worth it.

3.  Send emails, under a false address, to random strangers telling them that I am a billionaire Prince from Ugustanta and will lodge a truck load of money into their account, if only them give me their account numbers.

4.  Ask the IMF to bail me out.  Then tell them to feck off.

5.  Dress up in a ridiculous outfit and prance about singing a catchy pop tune under the pseudonym 'Ladie Gaga'.

6.  Set up a new bank called the Anglo-Breandán, then go bust, then ask the Government to pay the bill.

7.  Become an annoying celebrity chef who takes on a pet project - like making sure that every arsonist in Ireland channels their energy into cooking.

8.  Become a computer nerd, hack into bank files and delete my mortgage completely.  Then escape before James Bond catches me.

9.  Bring begging to another level.

10.  Stick my head in the sand and hope the damn thing goes away.

Right... decision time is coming...
My first big move is to cross off the long list, based on gut feeling - i.e cross off what I would be least interested in...

1. Write songs for Paddy's Day, Christmas and Euro Finals (change to write and promote song).
2. Produce a meditation CD based on the sounds of the west of Ireland.
3. Start up a Hillwalking Festival for Singles.
4. Pitch a TV programme/book that follows my progress.
5. Mass produce a bogman toy called 'Pet Peat'!
6. Host Céilí Dance Events for the over 50s.
7. Create products for the Irish diaspora market based on authentic Irish Language material.
8. A product that celebrates 'secret talents' within families.
9. A website for personalised blankets & trinkets.
10. Hold a midnight marathon somewhere in Ireland.
11. Organise a major rock concert.
12. Organise a major comedy event.
13. Host a technology exhibition.
14. Host a Santy's Castle.
15. Second Hand Private Car Sale.
16. A Health/Alternative Medicine Exhibition.
17. Bring the Alley Palley to Ireland!
18. Write a children's book.
19. An Irish toy exhibition.
20. A 'ghost estate' auction.
21. Host Irish students in our house.
22. A cake-makers website.
23. A website for car/mechanical parts.
24. A de-tox retreat.
25. Running Tours of Conamara.
26. Host a Géilí!
27. Yoga breaks.
28. Chakra belt.
29. Personalised Yoga Mats

Afraid of Nothing.

It occurred to me recently that this blog may be the result of a mid-life crisis.  Afterall, 37 plus 37 makes 74 - that used to be the average life expectancy for a man... Then, I thought better of that proposition, for many of my good friends are well over that age and looking fit and healthy.  So, I'll live til a hundred and we'll call fifty my midlife crisis time!  The truth is that I'm having a good deal more fun with this project than I though I would... for starters, it seems to be dragging me in directions I never thought it would lead - even as far as having a conversation with a sworn atheist about the meaning of life and the great human God that is money!  Now, I'm not an atheist, but I do agree that there may indeed be nothing in store for us after this life.  But my kind of nothing and his are two entirely different prospects! 

As far as I'm concerned nothing and everything are two sides of the one coin.  Let me explain... if you didn't have nothing, then how could you have anything at all?  Surely nothing holds everything in shape?  If I give you a box with nothing in it, doesn't that define the box!  Isn't space a whole load of nothing?  Imagine the universe without space - wouldn't it be one long hunk of rock!  This line of argument annoyed my atheist friend, who was adamant that finality meant no afterlife, no God.  Maybe he's right, but if everything can't exist without nothing, then surely nothing can't exist without everything?  So perhaps we do go to nothing for awhile, leading us to something else!

God, I hear you say, the poor boy has finally lost it!

And what has this got to do with the Pebble project?  Well, just as everything depends on nothing, my house is depending on my debt being paid!  Right now, it only belongs to me on a promise... and the promise lies in my ability to pay.  Now, if I could only get the forces of the Universe behind me to speed that process on!!!!

You Can't Roll Up a Hill.

If I were a rock that fell from space and landed on a slope in the middle of a mountain, the chances are I would roll downhill and not uphill.  I say chances are, but of course it's obvious.  Logic tells us that a rock will roll when dropped onto a slope - and it wouldn't be as daft as to roll uphill - would it?  Yet, it seems that most people try to defy logic by attempting to metophorically roll uphill.  Consider:  Paddy is a nice man who never said a bad word to anyone.  As a young boy he was fascinated with the garden - planting shrubs, flowers, knowing the roll of the seasons and the habits of the birds.  If ever anything needed to be done around the garden - Paddy was your man.  Gardening for Paddy was the equivilant of a downhill stretch for that rock previously mentioned - he didn't even need to think about it.  But what did Paddy decide to do with his life?  Well, for starters he dismissed gardening as a mere hobby and went to college to study business and finance - in order to get a real job.  His dedication and attention to detail ensured his successful graduation - though he complained constantly that his studies were 'boring' and his lecturers were 'absolutely useless'.  The real drudgery for Paddy started when he got out into the real world and attempted to climb the ladder of success.  At every turn he grew frustrated, bored, and was constantly overworked.  The promotions didn't come fast enough, and whenever they eventually did come they brought with them more duties that went against his personality - like having to fire someone!

But what if Paddy had decided to roll downhill?  He thought: surely there's no money in gardening - how could I pay a mortgage, pay my bills, have a nice car, go on a few holidays every year etc...?

Herein lies the problem:  Paddy underestimated the value of his real talents.  We are the worst people to judge our own worth - we are like the spoon that attempts to be a knife - every day it sees the knife cutting bread, spreading butter, slicing meat and it thinks 'that knife is so valuable, I'd love to be that knife!'.  If the spoon took time to consider his own worth he'd soon see that you can't drink soup with a knife! 

And the moral of the story is...  whatever I attempt this year, and I'm looking at many options, I'm definitely going to roll downhill!

14 Days to Decide.

 Time check:
We're past half-way in my decision month.  Will I chose a heap of good ideas and work through them one by one, or will I opt for one do-able thing that could grow wings?  A heap of good ideas could keep me way too busy to do either well, but that way, even if I fall short of my target, I'll surely take something off the mortgage.  One beautiful idea, magnificently executed, could lead to the greatest adventure of all - the slaying of a giant.  But, if I invest all my hopes in an idea that fails, then it's goodnight dream.  If I do choose the 'beautiful idea' option, then it will have to be something that I have complete and absolute faith in. 
Decisions, decisions.

A Night Run and Some Pebble Talk...

I went for a night run with Conor yesterday, flashlight fixed around my head as it shone a path in front of me.  The nights are mild and clear for this time of year.  He is aware of my year's project, indeed everyone I meet is aware of it - afterall it's so daft that I can hardly keep it a secret!  As we rambled along the bogroad at a joggers pace we chatted about the ideas that were to the fore.
'I'm at the stage', said I, 'where I'm looking for my best pebble.'
'Not this pebble nonsense again,' said he...
'Well,' said I, not backing an inch, 'before I cast the stone I need to make sure that it can knock the beast... and once I've found the right stone I'll concentrate on my sling-action.'
The trouble with such a conversation is that you can only reveal a fraction of your idea prior to it being crystalised in your own mind.  As we approach the middle of my first month, a month dedicated to brainstorming, I'm coming to a crossroads of thought.  Perhaps I shouldn't seek to do 20 little projects that will keep me going around like a headless chicken all year.  Perhaps I should take a greater lead from the title of the blog and seek out one perfect pebble and then take careful aim.  I have a pebble in mind, but just as I couldn't clarify my thoughts to Conor on our four mile night run I think it's just a tad to early to blog details just now. 
'You're mad,' he said.
He's probably right... but then, a bit of madness goes a long way sometimes...!  Now, back to the pebble search...

What's My Pebble?

Let's reconsider the biblical story:  Be it true or not, let's take it's metaphorical value!
The Philistines were at war with the Israelites.  The Philistines represented evil while the Israelites counted as the armies of God.  Amongst the Philistines there was a nine foot giant who, for forty consecutive days, would come to the top of the hill overlooking the Israelite encampment, mocking their soldiers.  'Who amongst you will fight me?" he would shout.  They were all afraid of Goliath and chose to hide away rather than encounter certain death. 
David was a teenage messanger for King Saul and was bringing a message to the frontline one day when he heard the call of Goliath.  He couldn't understand why those amongst his own people were too frightened to answer.  David begged Saul to allow him to fight the giant.
No one believed that young David could slay Goliath, but after much persuasion he was allowed to go forward.  Against the armour and armory of the giant David's choice of weapon was a pebble and sling.  He took careful aim and released the pebble with ferocious power.  It flew through the air at such speed and with such accuracy that it bore a hole in the giant's forehead, rendering him senseless as he fell to the ground.  David then stood atop of Goliath and drove a sword through his heart.
Now, in my story, I am David!  The mortgage is Goliath.  So what's my pebble?  The wheels are turning.

Firstly, an ebay clearout!

I won't clear the mortgage with a clear-out of unused domestic items, but an ebay sale might just be the symbolic start I need!  I've never sold anything on ebay before, so my first gentle forray into that market started last night when I put a set of unused squash rackets up for sale... so far, no bids!  I'm going to flog a heap of items... glasses, picture frames, coats, boots, even perhaps the treadmill?  Surely that would get a few bob in...  http://www.ebay.ie/itm/Squash-Racquet-Ball-Rackets-Dunlop-Power-Flex-Mint-Condition-Never-Used-/170762143920?pt=UK_Squash&hash=item27c23788b0

And so it begins...

What would you do if you were mortgage free?
Stop worrying about bills for starters.
Instead of eeking an existence from one wage packet to another you might actually begin to do the things that you like doing - and could be good at (if only just in your own opinion!).
Wouldn't society benefit hugely if we could all spend more time on productive things - like raising money for charity, working with the community, being more active culturally, promoting health and exercise events and being useful when we could!
Instead, we (the mortgage slaves) are trapped for an eternity by the banks. It will take me another 32 years, paying most of my wage to the great unknown, because 'the market value' dictated it thus only four years ago.  Truth is, I'm one of the lucky ones, with a wonderful job and a wife at work - God knows how people are coping who have lost jobs and are still expected to pay their crippling load.  BUT LEST YOU THINK THIS IS A RANT AGAINST MORTGAGES.... this is a challenge blog, not a poor mouth or charity exercise.  I will attempt the impossible this year by setting up events, business ventures, creative exercises and more, maximising my potential to clear a path in the woods...  The sky is the limit.